Johnny English Reborn: LOL guaranteed !!

Rating: 2.5/5

Rowan Atkisnson, whose life’s motto seems nothing but to make people laugh-loud is back with a brand new film, Johnny English Reborn – a sequel to Johnny English (which was released in 2003). I am neither a die-hard fan of his Mr. Bean Series nor Johnny English but I must admit I really enjoyed this sequel.

Director Oliver Parker takes no chances; he has made this film simple & stupid. Well, there’s Rowan (as Johnny English) & film is supposed to be a spoof of Bond, so expecting smartness here would be an inhuman act.

Opening scenes show our buffoon protagonist Johnny mastering unique fighting techniques & learning to take charge of his mind at some monastery in Tibet. After 5 long years, he returns to MI 7 with all his electrifying & unpredictable idiocy. He tries to resolve the mess which he made at Mozambique. Being as stealthier as Bond, Johnny’s task is to grab hold of 3 assassins who are hell bent on murdering another leader with the utilization of remarkable mind-controlling drug.

Coming to the film’s humor, it’s nothing less than terrific. Chase & fight sequence with Chinese chap is a signature of this great great humorous actor. With his simpler than simplest facial expressions & matchless body language, he wins giggles of king size. Gillian Anderson is a chief of MI7 agency and our senselessly-naïve Johnny hitting her mother with tray is the best & funniest scene of the film. There’s much more than that which I request you to find out by watching this amiable entertainer.

Dominic west (as agent Simon) accompanies him in his mission & love interest of Johnny is Rosamund Pike (as Kate). Charismatic looking Rosamund is a behavior specialist who lends helping hand to Johnny in his mission. From monastery in Tibet to French Alps in the climax, film is lavishly shot & each & almost every frame is eye-catching. What hampers this film to an extent is its inconsistent flow of humor & length. Film could have been better if it would have been shorter.

Forgive the flaws because laughs are guaranteed, go for it !! 

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan: is deadly boring !!

Rating: 1/5

To motivate & engage new-young film makers to think something out of box and give delight to audience is just not the idea of film-makers these days. They are busy making truck-loads of money by shamelessly & incessantly making stupid films.

Title of YRF’s latest outing is quite funny but film is not. Protagonist Imran Khan (as Kush), assistant director of bollywood films, is supposed to search a bride for his brother as his brother Luv (played by Ali Zafar) has broken-up with his girlfriend. Bride is undeniably none other than Dimple (played by Katrina). To bore us to the core, first time director Ali Zafar utilizes the same old trick i.e. moronic flash-back story. He takes us 5 years back and shows us the first meeting of Imran & Katrina. They develop liking for each other and after 5 years when they meet on this let’s-find-bride occasion, Imran gets shocked to see a Miley Cyrus kind of girl transforming into an absolutely Indian girl. He happily agrees to pick her for his brother.

After an engagement of his elder brother with Katrina, Imran portrays typical bollywood cry-baby. Now you definitely know what’s next. Both realize the mistake and they use same old traps to break the marriage. Such is the inanity of story-writer of this looks-charming-but-totally-trashy film.  

One could digest the over simplistic plot if film has some genuine laughs to offer. But jokes here are even less funny than those santa-banta jokes which we receive on daily basis (vis sms). Only scene which made me laugh-loud was Katrina crying on a highway for Imran’s abrupt demise. All the mockery they made of Khans was indisputably unfunny & badly lit.   

Story, screenplay, dialogues & direction – everything’s done by one man, Ali Zafar. He has messed up everything. Thank God, he didn’t give music. Music of the film generates some enthusiasm but it’s brutally let down by other aspects of film. Imran Khan’s character is carbon copy of his character in “I hate Luv Stories”. Cuteness of Imran Khan is what I am tired of seeing on-screen. He is just not getting tired of identicalness, makes me wonder why.

Katrina and Ali Zafar both resemble ideal examples of “over-acting”. Ali Zafar’s accent is intolerable. Katrina looks stunning & performs well in songs (as always) but her acting (as always) is nothing to speak of. After ZNMD, I was expecting her to act but I was disappointed. If truth to be told, whenever she voiced dialogues louder than normal tone, I felt the need of cotton plugs.      

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan robustly sticks to the current trend i.e. if we have music and stars, audience will watch anything. And sad part is, audience is really watching. If you have fondness for good cinema, stay far far away from this one.

That Girl in yellow boots: is very dirty !!

Rating: 2/5

Pedant film-maker Anurag Kashyap’s latest outing “That Girl in Yellow Boots” is director’s most daring film till date. Some will give massive round of applause while some will hit screen with their foot wears.

Ruth (played by Kalki) – a half Indian, half American girl (with not so bad Hindi ) is the central character of the film who is hell bent on searching her father. She earns livelihood by working at massage parlor (read ‘working’ as giving pleasure to customers). Her boyfriend Prashant (played by Prashant Prakash) is no different than a gang of male characters from Kashyap’s previous venture – Shaitan. Drug addict, hormone crazed, trouble arousing & immature, yes, that’s Prashant. Scenes showing him tied with window succinctly portray his excellent acting skills.

Circuitous path of Ruth includes her meeting with good & reprehensibly bad characters. Naseeruddin Shah is the only concerned being in her path who is a regular customer of her basic-respectful massage. Affectionate conversations between them are the only light moments in this film. In a cameo comes legitimate figures like police inspector (played by Ronit Roy) & postmaster (played by makarand deshpande). Rajat Kapoor appears for just 3-4 seconds & must say, trick works. Chitiappa (played by Gulshan Devaiah) is a south Indian Gangster who takes away Ruth’s hard earned money and in male section, his performance stands taller than others. Chitiappa and Maya, massage parlor’s receptionist (played by Puja Sarup) are the sources of murky humor here. Puja Sarup’s chatty avatar is just mind-blowing. 

Even without 3D, Anurag Kashyap easily succeeds to make his audience peep deep into his film’s dark, uncultured & egregious atmosphere. Cinematography and background score are two solid elements of this film which never fails to induce anxiety. Kalki’s acting is truly spectacular. However tough the scenes are, however abusive the dialogues are, Kalki did all with sheer sincerity. No other actress could’ve fit in yellow boots.

Editing here seems totally rough & amateurish. 90 minutes don’t add to precise character sketching because this film has plenty of characters. Abusive tone of the film becomes over abusive at times but no complains for that. We can’t expect soft-silky dialogues in an Anurag Kashyap film.

Main drawback of this film is its climax, which some say is disturbing & shocking but I think appropriate term would be “dirty”. It is the “dirtiest” climax in the history of bollywood. “That girl in yellow boots” unfortunately ends as an eternal obscurity of shameless minds. Kalki & Anurag have jointly written this film and quantity of absurdness which they’ve inserted here is beyond my tolerance capacity.

This is the particular film which I’ll never ever recommend to anybody. 

Not a love story: Camera works, film doesn't !!

Rating: 2/5

I’ve always appreciated RGV’s uniqueness, not only on twitter but in movies too (Why are you thinking of RGV ki AAG??). RGV’s newest film is a ‘take’ on Neeraj Grover murder case which occurred in May 2008.

Grover was a TV executive and his character in the movie is played by Ajay Gehi (as Ashish). Kannada actress Maria Susairaj’s character is enacted by dashing & daring Mahie Gill (as Anusha). And finally comes the character of Maria’s former fiancé i.e. Emile Jerome, portrayed by Deepak Dobriyal (as Robin) who commits the unwarrantable crime.

Film begins with Anusha convincing Robin to allow her to go to Bombay as she felt that she was capable enough to rule bollywood. Robin’s reluctant-ness fails to stand against Anusha’s sky-high stardom dreams, so she reaches Bombay. Then, for odd 30-35 minutes I felt like I was watching Madhur Bhandarkar’s ‘Fashion’. It was just that actress’s behavior & tone of the movie were according to RGV’s train of weird thoughts. Somehow, Anusha succeeds to bag the role of lead actress in a movie and celebrates the victory by sleeping with Ashish, the one who gave her that role. Unexpectedly, the very next morning Robin arrives, who sees Ashish absolutely naked. Losing temper, he just kills Ashish with knife.

Movie begins now. Not really. It should’ve been but sorry to say it didn’t. After killing Ashish, both of them decide to chop down the dead body into pieces, as proposed by Robin. Anusha buys him an elder brother of “Rampuri knife” and then Robin, with that tool does what he decided. Loading Ashish into car was easy now, as he was packed in 6-8 plastic bags. Couple goes to Jungle & burns the undersized portions of Ashish. Now, task for both of them is “not to get caught by police”. But Mumbai Police catches them easily, so easily that it makes you laugh. Even C.I.D mysteries are not that lame. Zakir Hussain as cop-in-charge of the case invests genuine earnestness to his character and performs superbly, irrespective of very short screen presence. Tiny conversation between him and Anusha is gripping.

Apart from mystery getting solved within no time, film has many loopholes. Length of the film has never been a reason to dislike a RGV film but this time, it is. Was editor hired or not? Film is also devoid of sharp dialogues and an important element called “unpredictability”.

Fascinating aspects of this film are camerawork, acting & background score. Camerawork is of top-notch quality. Yes, I did felt like it was shot from some mobile phone but the way RGV explores each and everything of Mahie Gill without actually showing us the real thing, is just amazing. It reminded me of that mermaid in last Pirates’ movie. Mahie Gill shows her thighs and acting skills in equal proportions i.e. abundance and both assets are very impressive. Deepak Dobriyal also gave watch-worthy performance. Background score by Sandeep Chowta is truly miraculous and yes, rangeela song is utilized smartly. There's one horrifying nightmare scene, it is truly RGV signature.

Real Story on wikipedia is much more haunting. Only if you have affection for RGV and his style, watch this film. Else, wait for world TV premiere.

Movie Review - Captain America - First Avenger

Captain America - First Avenger : Lacks Action

Rating: 2.5/5

“Why me?” – Yes, this is an epic question which every superhero finds answer to. Captain America too faces that question and without providing much mental stress to himself or audience, finds a quick convincing answer to it. Not a perfect superhero film, actually far from it but it’s an enjoyable film with retro vibe at its core.

Set in 1940, plot is pretty simple, to be honest, an over-simplistic one (excluding the fact that there were laser guns in 40’s). Steve Rogers (played by Chris Evans) is a failure in physical tests of U.S army as his structure is analogous to thin wooden stick. But his willingness to anyhow hop into combat field to defeat Nazis is unaffected by it. Impressed by his willingness, one scientist offers Steve what he wants but he must undergo an experiment. Steve readily agrees & experiment transforms his body into a powerfully-built-can-defeat-anybody structure. By liberating 400 U.S. soldiers from Nazi base camp, Steve achieves the tag of “Captain America”. Then on, it’s one-man-show. Johann Schmidt (played by Hugo Weaving) aka “Red Skull” is the leader of Nazi and baddie in the film who comfortably gets defeated by Captain America. I repeat, comfortably. Director Joe Johnston never leaves Captain America in the mouth of danger. Captain America accomplishes everything very easily, very very easily.       

Retro look is totally superb & worth appreciating but clear-cut script devoid of tiniest twists and turns is a kind of injustice to this grand marvel comic character. Captain America's shield comes back to him every time like a boomerang. That’s the only mystery which I wasn’t able to solve in the film. Also, kick-ass CGI and jaw dropping action scenes were missing. Film relies on the acting of protagonist, Chris Evans who succeeds to do what Tobey Maguire did for Spiderman and Christian Bale did for Batman. God will punish me if I don’t take the name of Chris Hemsworth (as Thor). Tommy Lee Jones (as colonel Chester Philips), Sebastian Stan (as Bucky – Chris’s friend) & Hayley Atwell (as agent Carter) have performed fantastically. Chemistry between two leads is sparklingly stunning and numerous one-liners in the film are timed very well by all actors.

A weak man knows the value of strength, such are the words of wisdom. Super heroism is indeed celebrated, but in a half decent way. Last thing I want to say is “Just Bring on the Avengers”.

Movie Review - Delhi Belly

Delhi Belly: is a shit-oriented film

Rating: 2.5/5

Produced by Aamir Khan, Delhi Belly is a shit oriented-abusive comedy film. To create humor, writer of the film Akshat Verma utilizes only 2 ways: One, he puts offensive & abusive language in almost each & every dialogue of the film and second, he uses same situation again and again and again…(It goes on endlessly) i.e. One of the three protagonists, Nitin – circular in shape has got shit-setback (diarrhea) which he resists throughout the movie and in the process, embarrassing noise coming from his ass is served as humor.

If such humor pleases you, then you might enjoy this movie but I felt director Abhinay Deo misused the “A” rating. Actually, a class of people for which this movie is made doesn’t even exist and I guess director didn’t know that. To be precise, that old dialogue of 90’s “Heere kahaan hai?” is the plot of the film. In addition, there’s a kidnapping which is also alike movies of 90’s. Problem doesn’t end here; everything is settled so easily and without hiccups that it reduced the slightest scope for excitement and nervousness which one likely expected.

In terms of positive points, cinematography is worth appreciating. Detailed zoom-in of protagonist’s house with classy background score succeeds to create a naïve humor. Film offers few genuine laughs but that’s not at all sufficient.

Script of the film has failed to do justice with central character of the film; Tashi – the journalist (played by Imran Khan) as he is not given any memorable moments. As sidekicks, Nitin (played by Kunal roy kapoor) as photographer of Taashi and Arup (played by Vir Das) as cartoonist have left impression with their first class act. Vijay Raaz, a hardcore Desi Gunda in desperate search of diamonds acts terrifically and he is the real star of the film. Meneka (played by Poorna Jaggannathan) is portrayed as a typical delhi chic working along with Tashi and she helps the gang with their plan.

Entertaining music videos & extraordinary promoting styles don’t make an entertaining film, proved. “Phas Gaye re.. Obama” & “Yeh Saali Zindagi” falling under same genre were way too smarter and unpredictable. I expect Aamir Khan Productions to come up with something substantial next time, unlike Dhobi Ghat and Delhi Belly.

Shaitan: is a stylish & captivating film !!

Rating: 3.5/5

Anurag Kashyap’s new venture ‘Shaitan’ pretends to stand tall on 3 pillars; blistering cinematography, awkwardly marvelous soundtrack & roaring Rajeev Khandelwal.

They make cheap comments on each other’s mothers’ appearances, one night stand is not a new thing for them and alcohol & drugs are like oxygen to them. These are the central characters of debutant film maker Bejoy Nambiar’s ‘Shaitan’ who don’t have anything to fight for in their life until the day when one of them after racing with Audi on streets of Mumbai hits his shining yellow Hummer to a scooter which kills 2 innocent persons riding it. All the five were seated in a car while this accident occurred so they decide to tackle it together. And in the process, their friendship’s strongest strength of having trust on each other slowly and steadily gets weaker and weaker as their plan of getting money to shut the case goes shockingly wrong.  

Story makes sense not just because of the fact that it reminds us what Salman Khan did many years ago, but because we often read in newspapers about kids driving their cars/bikes irresponsibly and wildly imaginatively (in some cases). For those of you who loved Dev D’s stunning cinematography, there’s particularly no reason to dislike this film as this film has a lot to offer in terms of cinematography. Some of the sequences are so impressively shot that it reminded me of Zack Snyder, who uses such tool in his film on regular basis. Gun fight featured with khoya khoya chand remix in background and fareeda - the song,  are the crux of this film which are so sensationally filmed that it might encourage you to watch this film second time.    

Tag of *angry young man* should now be passed on to Rajeev Khandelwal, he deserves it. Foot chase sequence is like trademark for Rajeev Khandelwal. His tough looks as honest and frustrated cop, merciless kick-punches and acting are superb. I wanted to see more of him, but I guess Bejoy and me don’t possess same mentality.    

Kalki Koechlin (as Amy), Gulshan Devaiya (KC), Shiv Pandit (Dash), Neil Bhoopalam (Zubin), Kirti Kulhari (as Tanya) & Rajat Barmecha as Shomu (in a cameo) have done a fair job. All the five share equal screen presence. Alike Anurag Kashyap’s previous films, Shaitan’s music is also remarkable. It is undeniably this year’s best soundtrack so far.

Only hindrance in the film which made me yawn was Kalki going again and again into flashback without any valid reason, else everything was fine, fancy & fabulous.    


This post is an entry to the Reel-Life Bloggers contest organized by wogma.com and reviewgang.com

  

Pirates of the Caribbean: On stranger tides: Appears pirated!!

Rating: 1.5/5

Circumnavigation of an entirely different world, from one exotic place to another, along its shores, in the center of vast oceans, deep into the waters, over the mountain peaks & in the stunning dark caves. Sounds breathtaking? No, it’s not. We are not exploring an official website of “Incredible India”, we are talking about movie and so, it’s not breathtaking. A movie also needs many other elements apart from cinematography. I (without even a slightest doubt in my brain) would say Rob Marshalls’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger tides” is the worst film of the series which insults previous movies because they dexterously explored the horizons of adventure & fun with imaginative action sequences while this latest film just shamelessly explores the horizons of dumbness.

The race is very much like living for the characters in Pirates movies. Sometimes it’s for medallion, map, chest, key and this time, to get water from the fountain-of-youth. For effective functioning of that water, it must be mixed with mermaid’s tear. Let me now give details of the creatures who are behind it. There’s Spanish army, British troop which surprisingly includes Captain Barbossa (with one wooden leg), Captain Blackbeard with his crew & hell rocker, Jack Sparrow. Oops, Captain Jack Sparrow! Crew of Blackbeard includes her daughter Angelica (played by Penelope Cruz) whose love interest is none other than Jack.

In this 2 hours & 16 minutes long film, there are various elements which bore you to an apex level. Love story shaped between sexy mermaid (played by Astrid Berges-Frisbey) & Christian disciple, Philip (played by Sam Claflin) is enormously melodramatic & tedious. And worst thing is, that mermaid reminded me of Shyamalan’s flop film “Lady in the water”. Over stretched tête-à-tête makes you yawn endlessly and dark tone of the film (because it was shot at night) almost certainly makes you sleep without uttering sweet dreams. Enthusiasm, thrill, con thing, amazing foot chases & remarkable sword fights are missing in this film.

Matchless personality, Johnny Depp as all time unpredictable Captain Jack Sparrow is the only watch worthy thing in this movie apart from cinematography. He tries his level best to pull this movie up and he partially succeeds. Loyal fans of this series might tolerate this intolerable film and the only reason would be Depp.

Pirates is tasteless without Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, that crew member who used to search his eye ball along with his partner, awkwardly entertaining monkey & Black Pearl. Yes, it’s a fact. Without them, Pirates movie appeared pirated. Go to nearest lake, sea, river or any thing but just don’t dare to sail “On stranger tides”, it’s not worth !!

Fast 5: Big gang, small bang !!

Rating: 2/5


Film opens with a terrific & promising action sequence in which Dominic (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker), Mia (Jordana Brewster) & Vince (Matt schulze) steal stylish fast cars from a running train by cutting one side of it which was absolutely jaw dropping & exciting but soon alike F & F 4, this one loses pace.

                   

Unintentionally they get one chip which messes their life as it contained money details of druglord & puts them again on the opposite side of law. They are hell bent on bankrupting drug lord by robbing his bank's vault. Movie in the halfway comfortably tries to shake hand with Ocean movies. It tries to become intellectual, but actually it doesn't. All the players (Tyrese Gybson, Gal Gabot, Sung Kang, Don Omar, Tego Calderon) of previous Fast & Furious films are gathered this time along with a new player Dwayne Johnson (as Hobbs - honest cop) who is given the tedious work of catching this gang. Elena (played by Elsa Pataky) accompanies him in the chase.

In terms of action sequences & hot pursuits, film stays low. There are no high octane races in this one. You don't see those boosters, you don't get to cheer.  Apart from opening action sequences, there are only 2 other action sequences. Hand to hand fight between Dwayne & Vin Diesel was just an okay, it was less exciting than WWE match. Dwayne Johnson's character was horribly written, it was just like makers made fun of him by providing him such meaningless character. It reminded me of Abhishek Bachchan's character in Dhoom. Climax comprises of impossible action sequence which shows 2 sports cars dragging bank's vault in the middle of Rio de Janeiro & beating all the other cars (of police & drug lord). That scene blows some 25-30 cars & that was the "wow" moment of the film.

It's an overstretched film, credit goes to poor editing. I disliked this film because in terms of hot babes, fast cars, action scenes & pace of the film, I was expecting a lot. Previous four Fast & Furious films were faster & far better than this one. I am also disappointed because in terms of music I didn't got chance to groove. No need to fasten your belts while watching "Fast 5" because movie runs at minimum speed which is very slow !! 

Movie Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch: Imaginative, but idiotically!!

 Rating: 2/5

Wish, characters in this movie would have performed their actions with respect to my joystick’s buttons. Leading lady in Zack Snyder’s latest flick “Sucker Punch” gets a super kick from a beast like creature but instead of getting first aid she stands up as if she wasn’t kicked but pampered. By now, i think you've understood that it's all about mindless action sequences & you know what? you're probably right.

Plot of the film is thoroughly vague & confusing but I can definitely conclude that it was taken up from Inception. If a person with an average intelligence tries to figure out the story exactly, than he will surely bang his head to any available surface. Emily Browning plays Baby Doll who is thrown by her step-father into asylum for charges of murdering her own sister. With conventional tête-à-tête, she unites with 4 other chicks to get out of that sick place. Those 4 chicks are funnily tagged as Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Rocket (Jena Malone), Amber (Jamie Chung) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens). While dancing in outrageously unusual but nevertheless sexy outfits, they grab full attention of the guests & during that dance, they log in into their imaginary world which doesn’t have any password though & over there, they mightily fight with unimaginable creatures to get 5 elements i.e. map, litter, knife, key & last one I won’t say, you better watch it, which will help them to get out. And as it’s a video game as I mentioned earlier, so you hardly see any blood. Only way out is don’t bother much.

Four different action sequences are created so magnificently, that it will please your retina like anything & everything. Huge guerilla like creatures with sharper than sharpest weapons, war scenarios giving world war feel, giant dragon mushrooming fire & intellectually designed robots leave your mouth completely open. Tsunami of CGI will surely drown your brain and senses. As a consequence, one won’t be able to concentrate on story. Yes, that’s the strategy which Zack applies here.

But those who don’t have much passion for video-games alike me, will end up saying, “Oh shit, not again!” Well, fight sequences are obviously predictable which hampers movie's charm to a considerable extent.

I appreciate the creativity & vision of Zack Snyder in ‘300’ & ‘Watchmen’ which were undeniably compelling, memorable & visually stunning but I don’t appreciate the liberty which he took this time with ‘Sucker punch’.   

Movie review Rabbit Hole

Director: John Cameron Mitchell

Starcast: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart

Rabbit Hole: Controlled drama without melodrama!!

Rating:3.5/5

Rabbit hole excels on so many levels and due to so many reasons. It is a refreshing change-of-pace from the usual fare, constantly surprising the audience with its unusual approach. It is an engrossing observation of a dysfunctional family, the problems they face and the life they lead. It is a brilliant character study of a couple who is totally broken and rotten from inside.

Life of a happy couple is turned upside down after they lose their four year old son in a car accident. Actors here give highly realistic performances that fit perfectly with this demanding plot. Nicole Kidman as Becca steals the show with her best performance since 'Eyes Wide Shut'. Aaron Eckhart (as Howie) also gives a terrific performance as the grieving husband and father.

Comfort level between couple reduces to a considerable level due to the massacre because of which Howie gets allured towards another woman & on the other hand, Becca chases the boy who rammed car into her son & talks endlessly with him. Tug-of-war through tongue between Howie’s mother & Becca is also hard hitting which crystal clearly show us how people actually live their life after losing their dearest ones. 

The best aspect of Rabbit Hole is how you begin by knowing very little about these characters but end up knowing them as if they were your own neighbors. You progressively learn what happened to their son and other details within their past that fit perfectly together without feeling as they are giving the audience answers. The dialogue also lends itself to this method and, surprisingly, never feels directed to the audience.

This is one of those films for which I'm ready to take blame for what I don't like. Watch it and weep. And wonder at an extraordinary story told without veering into the maudlin. It's a compactly controlled drama without any melodrama.

Movie review 7 Khoon Maaf

Director: Vishal Bhardwaj

Starcast: Priyanka Chopra, Neil Nitin Mukesh, John Abraham, Naseeruddin Shah, Vivaan Shah, Usha Uthup, Irrfan Khan, Anu Kapoor, Alexandr Dyachenko

7 Khoon Maaf: Not intended for masses!!

Rating: 2.5/5

There will be two kinds of reactions from audience after watching Vishal Bhardwaj’s 7 Khoon Maaf. 1 – What was that, a movie? 2 – What the hell was that? I belong to second category.

To bind 7 different stories in a 2 hour film is not a cake walk; it needs mettle to execute such difficult drama. Vishal in a unique style of his own one by one shows us the murders of 7 weird men who come across Susanna’s life. There are 3 other characters that are attached with Susanna; they are house keepers who help her directly or indirectly in assassination of her husbands. And the last character is Arun (played by Vivaan Shah); our protagonist who is dearest to Susanna, like her son & who partially narrates the story to us.

In the first half, we see the conviction & imagination of director who in a gripping manner advances the storyline with rich visuals & thrilling sequences. After the end of 3 stories, you are now almost aware what’s going to happen next & Vishal here fails because in the second half film loses its steam, humor disappears & it felt like film was literally asking us to check our cell phones for new texts. I guess that was not enough for Vishal, so he introduced us to bland lengthy scenes comprising of monotonous situations to make us yawn & yes, he succeeded in that also.

Film is shooted in an uncompromising manner. There are scenes which are provocative like the one in which we are asked to take a glimpse of Viagra packet and the other one in which Susanna getting tortured by Wasiullah Khan (played by Irrfan Khan).

Background score was haunting, but songs were less appealing. A try to rise above the standards of bollywood films would have been appreciable but here, many things fall short of which as a whole drags down the film. Male characters & dialogues are not appropriately written. Was editor involved in this film? Honestly, I don’t think so. Priyanka Chopra as Susanna does a magnificent job & might bag an award for it. From the male league, only Anu kapoor (Keemat lal) as a witty policeman gratifies, others might not have not understood their character; detrimental credit goes to writer. 

Vishal only knows for whom he has made this film. This will be a particular film which will dissatisfy both, viewers & critics.     

Movie review The Mechanic

The Mechanic: Half-throttle!

Rating: 2.5/5

Directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider), The Mechanic is a remake of a 1972 Michael Winner thriller that starred Charles Bronson and Airwolf's Jan-Michael Vincent.

Jason Statham, a super specialist of standard Hollywood B grade action movies anchors ‘The Mechanic’ along with Ben Foster. Lethal hit-man Jason Statham teaches his trade to an apprentice (Ben Foster) who has a connection to one of his previous victims, that’s what the plot is all about.  His trade is about killing people brutally in a smart manner, a sort of contract killer.

The Mechanic is better than Transporter’s second & third outings. After few minutes, just when you are about to shout what is going on, why nothing is happening? Suddenly, bullet head shots, thrilling chase sequences, merciless killings & throttling pace of the movie engages you and yes, it engages to such an extent that you exactly don’t care about the storyline & dialogues. Best moment of the film is a head-on collision between bus & car, you got to see that, very well executed.

You don’t go to a Jason Statham movie for the brilliant plot any more than you go to see a Kevin James movie for the compelling drama. Foster & Statham  invest their earnest performances and they rise above the script and make this movie a watchable one. 

The mechanic strictly follows the mechanism of “B” action-movie. Expect Statham doing Statham in a less humorous way, nothing else!! 

Trailer of THE MECHANIC (1972): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ3t8TDtLg0 

Trailer of THE MECHANIC (2011): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39L8egLr518

Movie Review Patiala House

'Patiala House': A regrettable film!

Rating: 1.5/5 

Patiala House is anticipated as a comeback film for Akshay Kumar, but dejectedly, Khiladi Kumar’s saga of providing tasteless films continues. Instead of worshipping cricket which could have been the heart of this film, Patiala House worships melodrama, a melodrama which is inherently excruciating.

Patiala house is the villa where everyone’s living their life but no one’s living their dreams. Everybody wants to do something unique, but they are not able to do so, as the eldest & most obedient son of the family, Parghat Singh Kahlo (played by Akshay) is not accompanying them by living his very own dream of playing Cricket for England as a pace-bowler. Being an Indian, to play in England team is against the will of family’s leading person, Parghat's father (played by Rishi Kapoor). So it is Parghat's story of how he wins faith of his self-esteemed father.  

He is a good chef & a champion action hero but he doesn’t possess any bowling skills. Director shows the Akshay’s ignorance about bowling by employing hazy & unimpressive special effects which show us how in a cake-walk manner, ball directly crashes stumps. Sadly, that’s the weakest point of this movie. Akshay never lives his character; it felt like he was forced to live it. Those who live their characters are Anushka Sharma & Rishi Kapoor, but poor storyline & tattered dialogues restrict them to blossom.

Film tries to radiant father-son relationship, orthodox mentality, individual’s dream & willingness to break-free, with cricket at its background theme. But sorrowfully unlike Udaan, film never succeeds to make its audience cheer for its protagonist. Cricket-matches seemed thoroughly predictable & fake, irrespective of major cricketers like Andrew Symonds & Nasser Hussain participating in it.

Instead of stepping into Patiala House for a bucketful of monotony, witness street cricket in your locality, at least it will have some thrill & joy unlike this one. 

Yeh Saali Zindagi: Striking film !

Rating: 4/5

Sudhir Mishra’s Yeh Saali Zindagi set in core Delhi is a dark film of numerous imaginatively constructed characters. Film is loud, descriptive & original, comprising of countless abusive dialogues but auspiciously, they are so smart that they will make you say to the writer of the film, ‘please, take a bow, you genius’.

Arun (played by Irrfan Khan) is a professionally intellectual person who simultaneously gets pissed off by his boss (played by saurabh shukla) and also by a girl whom he has fallen in love with. His love interest is Priti (played by Chitrangada Singh) who is in love with some other guy whose marriage is already fixed with another girl.

Another plot is of Kuldeep (played by Arunoday Singh) who is in awe for making money after getting out from Tihar Jail so that he could save his sinking marriage. He goes to his policeman friend Satbeer (played by Sushant Singh) of Tihar Jail to show him the fast-way to make money. Only way shown by him was kidnapping which Kuldeep accepts & kicks-off with his witty & mindless gang. Now, kidnapping is co-related with his jail mate who was once a Don of his time and who also had an astringent relation with his real brother who lives in overseas. Now, in clash between both brothers for money, Kuldeep plays a pivotal role.

It’s wholly puzzling unless you watch it; in short it’s a lot about lot. Film keeps you on toes throughout with myriad twists-turns flooded with witty dialogues and spectacular screenplay. Musically also, film never compromises. Background score succeeds in appealing.

Coming to the acting division, on one hand, there’s Arunoday who along with first-rate acting shows us how he can kiss better than Emraan Hashmi and also how he can climb houses better than spider-man. On the other hand it’s Irrfan Khan who once again proves how excellent he is at acting, every dialogue uttered by him leaves a solid impression. Delightful Chitrangada Singh gets a neat chance to show her acting skills & she performs well with conviction. Now the list of actors here is lengthy but honestly, each and every actor irrespective of his screen presence’s duration performs fantastically.

Yeh Saali Zindagi as a whole is a striking film, go for it !!


 

This post is an entry to the Reel-Life Bloggers contest organized by wogma.com and reviewgang.com

Sanctum: Extreme people, extreme danger, terrifying adventure !

Rating: 3/5

First & foremost let me clarify this to you; James Cameron is not the part of Sanctum’s production, direction & writing. He has executed some of the 3d effects and the film uses his unique 3d photography technique of Avatar, that’s why his name is flashing in the poster & trailer of the film. Sanctum’s makers are not confident enough, so they are generating hype of a king size i.e.  From the makers of AVATAR & TITANIC.

A team of underwater cave divers is on a perfidious outing to the largest, most gorgeous and least accessible cave system on Earth - the Esa-ala Caves of New Guinea. Master diver Frank McGuire (Richard Roxburgh) has seen the sights of South Pacific's wonder. But when a tropical storm forces them deeper into the caves, they must come to blows with raging water, deadly terrain and creeping panic as they search for an escape route to the sea. Frank's team, including 17-year-old son Josh (Rhys Wakefield) and financier Carl Hurley (Ioan Gruffud), are forced to radically alter plans. Soon, they are confronted with the unavoidable question: can any of them survive, or will they be trapped forever?

Hollywood film-makers are in delightful mood of serving films, based on Adventures. Film stands no where in comparison of 127 Hours. This one’s missing many elements; basic facets of film-making. There are instances which will make you believe the tension of the protagonists but they are few. Death counts, keeps us surprising.

Father (Richard Roxburgh) & Son (Rhys Wakefield) go hand-in-hand to escape from the darkest & deepest cave. They discover each other there, but that was totally slapdash fixation from the writer. Acting is nothing to speak of here, and what was the requirement for hand-to-hand fight in an escapade/underwater adventure film I don’t understand and I doubt it even its makers wouldn’t have understand that.

There are few gorgeously cinematographed & anxiety offering scenes, only for that I recommend you to witness to this movie. Don’t watch it in 3d (comprises of minimum effects), catch it in 2d. Film has already been shelved by critics, but don’t bother about it, it’s watchable !

DTBHJ: Honest & endearing, but with flaws !

Rating: 2.5/5

Being at inception stage of comedy films, Bhandarkar tries hard to gratify audience and thanks to the lead person of the movie, it turns out to be an entirely watch able film with pardonable few pits in between.

Alike we are tired of watching stupid Akshay Kumar films; Naren (played by Ajay Devgn) is tired of his marriage in the film. He works as Loan Manager in Bank, who gets a sexy chick, June Pinto (played by Shazahn Padamsee) in the form of intern in office on whom, he is having infinite crush and so, goes for a divorce without even a bit of hesitation.

Abhay (played by Emraan) and Milind (played by Omi Vaidya) join Naren at his new residence and within no time, their journey to discover love kicks-off. 

Emraan Hashmi (as Milind) is served with run-of-the-mill playboy character. He is a gym trainer, who simultaneously goes in relationship with mother & daughter (played by Tisca Chopra & Shruti Hassan) which complicates his life, as the elder one is ATM for him & with younger one, he has dreamt of, his entire future life.

After a king-size start with 3 idiots, Omi returns with this film playing a trouble-free character (Milind kelkar) who works in matrimonial site, who is having a blind & profound conviction in true-love and who also is an expert in making people scratch their head and pull their hairs with his frivolous poetries. Gungun (played by Shraddha Das) as R.J, incessantly uses him to get into unaffordable parties to bag a film-role.

Another feather in actor’s cap, yes I am talking about last year’s most consistent performer, Ajay Devgn. As middle aged divorced man, Devgn throws simple but splendid performance and he is the one who pulls this movie up.

Film delivers plenty of laughs but in the halfway writer runs short of content and messes the film irreparably. It’s also the editing which seemed as disappointing. It felt like Emraan’s track was persistently asking us to leave the hall for few minutes. It was gratuitously stretched and particularly this track was written in a juvenile manner. Film irrefutably justifies its title; credit goes to the very-well executed climax, that’s really intellectual one.

Bhandarkar’s honest attempt and Devgn’s endearing act is watch worthy !!

Tangled: Pleasurable & Twinkling Disney movie !

Rating: 3/5

Disney's energetic re-telling of Rapunzel in 3D animation turns out to be a dazzler. Despite the need to wear flimsy plastic glasses, watching Tangled reminds one that some brands of storytelling never go out of style, whatever that style may be.

The script's feisty humor and the cast's vocal charm bring to jaunty life a flimsy Grimms' fairy tale. It tries for the appeal of Disney's animation heyday, but individual scenes borrow a bit too liberally from such movies as Beauty and the Beast, The little Mermaid & Aladdin.

With his stolen bounty in his satchel, charming bandit Flynn Rider (voice of Zachary Levi) climbs up a tall, mysterious tower to hide out. But he is taken hostage by Rapunzel (voice of Mandy Moore), a beautiful girl with 70 feet of magical, golden hair, whose controlling Mother (Donna Murphy) has kept her tower-bound for many years. Rapunzel strikes a deal with the handsome thief, who reluctantly agrees to take her into the Kingdom on her 18th birthday to watch the floating lanterns released into the sky. Every year on the same day, the lanterns are released by the King and Queen, as a symbol of hope to find their kidnapped Princess daughter.

The movie’s real accomplishments are in its look, which was generated inside a computer but is as warm and wealthy as a painting. This is, of course, a credit to the animators who do manage to preserve that amazing classic Disney Movie Musical look, but with cutting edge CGI! Perceptibly the film looks incredible, but it looks incredible in all the precise ways. Emotion is captured, both slapstick and more multifaceted visual humor manages to be handled perfectly. Luckily this is never at the expense of character development. These things go hand in hand, as they should. Rapunzel is believable in her evolution and Flynn, the scoundrel, makes perfect sense as he slowly becomes much more... well, Disney Princely!

Stunning chase sequences and the scenes featuring countless lanterns are the most delightful visuals which Tangled offers. And, Alen Menken’s songs are written with infinite gusto which acts as heart of this fairy-fulsomely entertaining tale.

Though not exactly inventive, Tangled is hasty and the Broadway-style appeal of archetypal Disney fare.

Dhobi Ghat (Mumbai Diaries): Art for art’s sake doesn’t comprise of right art!!

Rating: 2.5/5

Devoid of Desi Dhinchak Dhinchak, this bullock cart paced art film comprises of 4 diverse stories which unravels in an unconditional, imaginative and uncompromised way. But even at a moderate running time of 95 minutes, film becomes bore some and insufferable at few instants.

Film kicks off with Shai (played by Monica Dogra) assembling with Arun (played by Aamir) in a party and then after they make love for a night. They depart intentionally, as Arun realized the next morning that it was a folly act. Shai is a NRI banker by profession, but photographer by passion. Her path intersects with Munna (played by Prateik Babbar) who is Dhobi (Laundress), but dreams to become a superstar actor. Munna asks Shai to take his portfolio pics and with passing days, Munna eventually falls in love with her.

Arun is a terrific painter who has got divorce and also is a chain smoker. He changes his residence every now and then. If you are ignorant about such things consider it as an artist’s style to get inspiration. In his new-fangled seat, he comes across 3 tapes which show us the fourth and the final character of the movie i.e. Yasmin (played by Kriti malhotra) who shoots herself in a video. She wants her brother to see all those tapes.

Stroke of white color on Aamir’s hair show us how hard this actor tries to get into the skin of character not only with his expressions, but also with his hairstyle. Sadly, it looks unimpressive here and Aamir’s acting is not at all worth appreciating. It felt as if, he struggled throughout the movie to identify his character. All other actors have performed superbly. Few light moments are fulsomely cherish able, thanks to Prateik & Monica for that, as they delivered dialogues in a glowing way. Munna running after Shai’s car with pitch perfect emotions is my favorite scene, in which one can truly identify this new star’s potential.  Kriti malhotra is the finest of the lot who convincingly strikes the correct emotional chord & in such a manner that the viewer gets spellbound with it.  

One’s painter, one's a photographer, another likes to pose & the other shoots herself with a camera.  Premise is undeniably intellectual but writing here is amateurish and narration too, film is loaded with dull dialogues.’ Why people visit Gateway of India and Marine drive in Mumbai’ is an attention-grabbing topic from world cinema’s point of view, but Kiran Rao messes that plot miserably.

Painting which Arun creates from Yasmin’s tapes shows us Kiran Rao has atleast got something convincing & sparkling to show us, which to some extent also makes me say that her next project would be awaited. Mumbai could not have been more persuasively shown. Cinematography is the epicenter of the movie on which movie relies strongly. Background score is soothing, but to be honest it’s just less than gratifying. It could have been much more powerful.

Due to screenplay and dialogues comprising of nothing but flaws, I’d say Dhobi Ghat is an art for art’s sake that doesn’t comprise of right art !!

Yamla Pagla Deewana: Asinine but nevertheless comical !

Rating: 3/5

Yamla Pagla Deewana featuring real life father & sons Dharmendra, Sunny Deol and Bobby Deol is a film which is silly, old-fashioned, lengthy, predictable but funny for most of its part.

I guess actors were roped in first and then script was printed later because the plot here is no different from bollywood movies of 90’s. Actually, there is no story here. In childhood, son loses track of his brother-father who after 2-3 decades turn into con-men and in disguise they play con on him only. Haven’t you witnessed such similar stories million times in our hindi movies? Nothing’s diverse here. Macho man, Sunny deol (as Paramveer) from all the way to Vancouver, lands in Banaras to search his father-brother and that’s it, he finds them effortlessly with sheer ease. Bobby deol (as Gajodhar) wants to win his love i.e. Sahiba (played by Kulraj), in that process helping hands are but obviously Paramveer and Dharam (played by Dharmendra) and against them, odd-man is Anupam Kher (as Joginder singh) who is Saahiba’s elder brother.

Screenplay and Dialogues were quite ordinary; freshness and sharpness were surprisingly absent. Particularly, during songs, you feel like leaving hall and get a sigh of relief. If the backdrop is of Punjab, music should be perceptibly uplifting, but here regrettably, it’s thoroughly unsatisfactory. Each and every item number used purposefully without situation fails to engage and amuse the viewer. First half depicting  mostly Gajodhar’s love story is plain monotonous and long-drawn-out while second half of the movie is well executed and it never loses pace and succeeds to lit a smile on viewer’s face.

Revisiting Gadar’s action sequences least seriously was pure fun. Rajnikant and Chulbul Pandey’s action sequences has become a fashion now, a trend which is repeated stoplessly and Samir Karnik uses it wisely. Legendary grunt of Sunny Deol was worth appreciating here, when he stands tall and broad against 15-20 men, as usual is the most funniest scene of the movie. This is indeed the USP of this actor and considering his previous works in past few years, this one’s the best.

Watching all deols with turban and fake beard dancing, laughing, crying and hugging was a scenario which you don’t get to witness usually. It seemed all of them cherished this film much more than the audience. And that’s why, this silly movie becomes not only watchable, but pleasurable.

The one performance which stands out in this 3 hour long film is of poli (played by Sucheta Khanna) as younger sister of Sahiba. The way she tries to butter up Gajodhar is immensely funny and her incredible style of pronouncing Canada as “Canneda” is exclusively rib-tickling. This is a character which reminded me of witty sales girl in supermarket of LSD.

It’s funnier than each and every Akshay Kumar starrer of 2010 and for the dignity Deols invested here, I’d recommend you this asinine but nevertheless comical movie without hesitation !!

127 Hours: Shocking, thrilling and mighty !

Rating: 4/5

127 hours is an enthralling movie based on Aron Ralston's autobiography "Between a Rock and a Hard place" Only a truly visionary filmmaker could take an anecdote largely set in a confined canyon and give it a sense of candidness and hope.

So many films assert inspiration, but here is one to truly inspire. The opening credits of 127 Hours are a blissful hodgepodge of the race of every day life leading to the pledge of an adventurous weekend which is shot in stunningly stylish and luminous approach. Most remarkable opening sequences in recent times!

Young Aron Ralston, played by James Franco, is a high-spirited, cheerful and wild adventurer who schedules to the wildest desserts to rock climb and bike across the terrain which at one point of time makes the viewer feel that he is watching brand new commercial of Mountain dew, of course nevertheless pleasurable. He gets hand-in-hand with two vacationers (played by Amber Tamblyn & Kate Mara) who have just got no idea about where to go. Aron shows them his fancy spots, all 3 of them cherish great time and right after after departing from them, Aron lands into hell, actually canyon, where boulder crushes his hand & 127 hours is his mighty story of how he saves himself from this place, where exactly no one is there for his assistance. A bottle of water and some of his made in china’s useless tools somehow aid him but you got to see how Aron spends 127 hours in canyon. Also, he uses camera to shoot his out-of-blue, desperate and painful efforts in the canyon to slide away the boulder.

In a canyon, where he is stuck & stalled, he is almost dying, even in such scenario; he throws humor to uplift himself which astonishingly succeeds to lit a smile and uplifts the viewer also. It's worth elaborating on the splendid & amusing performance of James Franco, who's up for every bit of Boyle's challenge. It’s his incredible acting that makes 127 hours more than just a movie. Effortlessly, viewer is able to sense the tension of the protagonist’s scenario and his desperation to survive and get away from canyon as soon as possible. 

Screenplay is wholly uncomplicated and superb by Simon Beufoy and Danny Boyle, through which viewer’s emotional chord easily intersects with the protagonist’s suffering. It makes me say that Anthony Dod Mantle is so passionate about cinematography that his passion is just indescribable. Camerawork is enormously radiant and dazzling which makes 127 hours visually spectacular.

When you listen to the soundtrack through your headphones it is not that impressive. But when it comes as background score, it’s truly extraordinary and gives soothing effect to the movie and the listener. Asian Mozart never misses a beat. “If I rise” is undeniably the best of the lot, which harmonically talks about hope, conviction and optimism.

Reality could not have been more real. Don’t miss this shocking, thrilling and mighty movie. It teaches you many things, one of them exactly is what no to do while going for an adventure on a deserted place!