Pirates of the Caribbean: On stranger tides: Appears pirated!!

Rating: 1.5/5

Circumnavigation of an entirely different world, from one exotic place to another, along its shores, in the center of vast oceans, deep into the waters, over the mountain peaks & in the stunning dark caves. Sounds breathtaking? No, it’s not. We are not exploring an official website of “Incredible India”, we are talking about movie and so, it’s not breathtaking. A movie also needs many other elements apart from cinematography. I (without even a slightest doubt in my brain) would say Rob Marshalls’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger tides” is the worst film of the series which insults previous movies because they dexterously explored the horizons of adventure & fun with imaginative action sequences while this latest film just shamelessly explores the horizons of dumbness.

The race is very much like living for the characters in Pirates movies. Sometimes it’s for medallion, map, chest, key and this time, to get water from the fountain-of-youth. For effective functioning of that water, it must be mixed with mermaid’s tear. Let me now give details of the creatures who are behind it. There’s Spanish army, British troop which surprisingly includes Captain Barbossa (with one wooden leg), Captain Blackbeard with his crew & hell rocker, Jack Sparrow. Oops, Captain Jack Sparrow! Crew of Blackbeard includes her daughter Angelica (played by Penelope Cruz) whose love interest is none other than Jack.

In this 2 hours & 16 minutes long film, there are various elements which bore you to an apex level. Love story shaped between sexy mermaid (played by Astrid Berges-Frisbey) & Christian disciple, Philip (played by Sam Claflin) is enormously melodramatic & tedious. And worst thing is, that mermaid reminded me of Shyamalan’s flop film “Lady in the water”. Over stretched tête-à-tête makes you yawn endlessly and dark tone of the film (because it was shot at night) almost certainly makes you sleep without uttering sweet dreams. Enthusiasm, thrill, con thing, amazing foot chases & remarkable sword fights are missing in this film.

Matchless personality, Johnny Depp as all time unpredictable Captain Jack Sparrow is the only watch worthy thing in this movie apart from cinematography. He tries his level best to pull this movie up and he partially succeeds. Loyal fans of this series might tolerate this intolerable film and the only reason would be Depp.

Pirates is tasteless without Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, that crew member who used to search his eye ball along with his partner, awkwardly entertaining monkey & Black Pearl. Yes, it’s a fact. Without them, Pirates movie appeared pirated. Go to nearest lake, sea, river or any thing but just don’t dare to sail “On stranger tides”, it’s not worth !!

Fast 5: Big gang, small bang !!

Rating: 2/5


Film opens with a terrific & promising action sequence in which Dominic (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker), Mia (Jordana Brewster) & Vince (Matt schulze) steal stylish fast cars from a running train by cutting one side of it which was absolutely jaw dropping & exciting but soon alike F & F 4, this one loses pace.

                   

Unintentionally they get one chip which messes their life as it contained money details of druglord & puts them again on the opposite side of law. They are hell bent on bankrupting drug lord by robbing his bank's vault. Movie in the halfway comfortably tries to shake hand with Ocean movies. It tries to become intellectual, but actually it doesn't. All the players (Tyrese Gybson, Gal Gabot, Sung Kang, Don Omar, Tego Calderon) of previous Fast & Furious films are gathered this time along with a new player Dwayne Johnson (as Hobbs - honest cop) who is given the tedious work of catching this gang. Elena (played by Elsa Pataky) accompanies him in the chase.

In terms of action sequences & hot pursuits, film stays low. There are no high octane races in this one. You don't see those boosters, you don't get to cheer.  Apart from opening action sequences, there are only 2 other action sequences. Hand to hand fight between Dwayne & Vin Diesel was just an okay, it was less exciting than WWE match. Dwayne Johnson's character was horribly written, it was just like makers made fun of him by providing him such meaningless character. It reminded me of Abhishek Bachchan's character in Dhoom. Climax comprises of impossible action sequence which shows 2 sports cars dragging bank's vault in the middle of Rio de Janeiro & beating all the other cars (of police & drug lord). That scene blows some 25-30 cars & that was the "wow" moment of the film.

It's an overstretched film, credit goes to poor editing. I disliked this film because in terms of hot babes, fast cars, action scenes & pace of the film, I was expecting a lot. Previous four Fast & Furious films were faster & far better than this one. I am also disappointed because in terms of music I didn't got chance to groove. No need to fasten your belts while watching "Fast 5" because movie runs at minimum speed which is very slow !!