Just run of the mill !

Film: Battleship
Director: Peter Berg
Star Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Liam Nesson, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna
Genre: Crash-bang-boom

Thanks to lavish Hollywood, Aliens are invading our planet cinematically at least once in year. Is that some way to pay tribute to aliens or is it the constant reminder of the fact that aliens do really exist? Those makers can only tell that. Peter Berg with ‘Battleship’ proves absolutely nothing.

Alex Hopper (played by Taylor Kitsch) is a reckless 26-years-old guy who gets into Navy because his brother wants him to. With respect to his rogue attitude, Admiral Shane (played by Liam Nesson) announces that his career in Navy is more or less finished. Aliens invade the earth and like every time, it is west. Alex along with Japanese officer fights them bravely and everything falls back in place. To transport more ordinariness to the film there is Brooklyn Decker as lady love of Alex, whose bouncy breasts and tiny outfits very well justifies her presence. Raikes (played by talented singer Rihanna) assists Alex in the combat sequences and is very energetic but to be honest, it was a lukewarm debut. Not her mistake though.

Producers spent huge sum of 200 million dollars to show us some impressive battle sequences between Aliens and humans which are equivalent to Michael Bay’s visually spectacular & irrational Transformers’ series. Only difference is that most of the action sequences in this film are set in the middle of an ocean. Ships sailing fiercely & cutting waters and naval battle scenes are so exhilarating that you genuinely wish to experience them in 3D.

Mission of aliens is to build a power source in ocean & this time around they remarkably destroy one of the good-looking towers of Hongkong, chopping it from the middle giving humans a clear sign that they’ve arrived (again!). In addition, they ruin 3 navy battleships by dropping large number of strange-looking missiles on them. There also is one extraordinary scene in which 2 gigantic metal balls consisting gears are rolled over Hawaiian island and we see cars, helicopters and even bridge getting destroyed causing some effective explosions. But sadly none of them appropriately fix film’s customary flaws. It precisely is misuse of CGI & other latest technologies available to mankind.

Introduction is lengthy, post interval part is way too monotonous and climax of course is very predictable and hence, tasteless. Film easily could’ve been shorter & better. They’ve got every ingredient required for making a good action film. Don’t know why they are spending millions to portray the same thing in same ‘Bang n Boom’ manner each year.   

Rating: 2/5

Pure Bullshit

Once upon a time, I watched Sajid Khan's Blousefull. 

Director: Sajid Khan (aka Chutiya)

Star cast: Aksay Kumar, Deepika padukone, Lara Dutta, Riteish, Arjun Rampal, Jiah Khan

Genre: Pure Bullshit

When it comes to Akshay`s movies, heart says jump for it and brain says don`t go near it. Finally we listen to the heart and what we get is a mere disappointment. This time also there`s nothing different with Housefull. Sajid khan, instead of moving one step ahead after Heyy Baby goes many steps backwards and presents a comedy which is ridiculous and stupid at each and every point of time.

Akshay shown as aarush, the most ill-fated guy on the planet is tired of his life and returns to his friend with a hope that his life may improve. Then comes the things on screen which we have been through innumerable number of times like altering of wives, stammering, slapsticks, using cheap language like homo and gay etc. Already tested formulas are utilized here and none of them succeed to lit a big smile on a viewer`s face. One after the another slapstick might make you laugh for once but gay angle shown is completely worn out one.

An established joker of bollywood (aka Akshay Kumar) who plays fool of himself every now and then completely fails this time to tickle his audience. His naïve look is getting repetitive and absolutely boring. The lead guitarist(Arjun Rampal) of Rock On is completely wasted here and Riteish even adds nothing to the movie. Gujarati character of Boman as Batuk patel could have been more entertaining than actually it is like the one of Kantaben. Chunky Pandey as Akhri Pasta delivers some fresh jokes.

The director instead of exploring even a bit of acting skills from his actresses goes other way round and explores their skin. At some instants you will feel like you are watching Kingfisher Calendar and not movie. Music from the reputed band (SEL) also stinks here. Surprisingly, even they don`t have anything original to offer.

Some of the jokes are barefacedly placed from Mr. Bean series. In the closing stages, when you are undoubtedly praying to almighty for ending this cheap movie, laughing gas leaks out and the assembled cast bursts with fake and loud giggles which adds nothing but gasoline to the fire.

There are chances you may leave the cinema hall halfway. Even crocin and disprin won`t make you feel any better after watching this crap of Sajid Khan. This movie proves that without a proper story line and original comic dialogues, using good musicians, star studded cast and exotic locations can be just in vain. To the director who claims his movie as an “entertainer”, I would suggest him to watch Hera Pheri and Awara pagal Deewana. They might change his definiftion of an “entertainer”. Hangover would be difficult for Sajid to understand. Have some mercy on yourself by avoiding this one. Watching local circus in your city would be a far better alternative!