Desi Boyz: is a pleasant surprise !!

Rating: 2.5/5

Congratulations to David Dhawan's son, Rohit Dhawan, who has made "Desi Boyz". His debut film is indeed better than David Dhawan's  previous 5 films released in the span of last 7 years.

Each and every element essential for making a watchable commercial film is present here and it's in "almost perfect" quantity. This is really a surprise package. I went into hall with zero expectations and may be that's why I was able to overlook few faults of this simple and amiable entertainer, set in London.

Jignesh Patel aka Jerry (played by Akshay) is a college drop out; works as guard in mall and so, most of his expenses are suffered by his best friend and room-mate, Nikhil Mathur aka Nick (played by John Abraham). Jerry has responsibility to merrily raise his nephew, Veer (played by Shraman Jain).

Nick is having a well-paid investment banking job and a hot girl friend, Radhika (played by Deepika) with whom he is supposed to tie a knot with.

Life of Jerry and Nick is absolutely happy-go-lucky until the day in 2009 when both of them are thrown away from their respective jobs due to recession. They are totally bankrupt now. With no other options available and chiefly for the sake of raising Veer, they accept the offer of becoming Male Escorts presented by Sanjay Dutt. Their life again becomes joyful with the new tags “Rocco” and “Hunter”. Film then gets caught into the paws of regular bollywood clichés and melodrama makes its way. Radhika gets shocked with Nick taking up such cheap job and that results into multiple break-ups, one between Nick and her and another between Jerry and Nick. Now Jerry is back to college to complete his unfinished graduation and over there, he romances Tanya (played by gorgeous Chitrangda Singh) who teaches him Economics in a style which no other professor likely can. Film ends comfortably with all the characters getting everything they wished for.

After a long long time, I was able to tolerate Akshay Kumar. It has become a habit to use word “tolerate” when it is Akshay’s film but this time I didn’t actually tolerate him, I cherished his act. His Gujarati accent managed to make me laugh for plenty of times and thank god, there was no slap-stick humor. Hope, he won’t disappoint with his upcoming films. John finally acted. Cheers !! He successfully threw some funny one-liners and his efforts in getting back his love looked somewhat genuine. Acting by leading ladies wasn’t much required here. They were supposed to look lovely in sexy outfits and both of them did that commendably. Omi Vaidya’s cameo was film’s silliest portion but to be honest, it was the goofiest portion. He added humor effortlessly with his brilliant act. Pritam’s music is unproblematic this time.            

Coming to the flaws of the film, Sanjay Dutt’s uninteresting and nasty cameo with Khalnayak’s music playing in background could have been much more funnier. If they don’t have bucks to pay rent then Why can’t Nick sell his Yamaha V-max ? You know, that bike costs 20 lacs. Hell lot of money. No? Script wastes so much time on Nick and Radhika in second half that movie becomes bit humdrum.     

It could have been sexier, funnier and little less melodramatic but it’s by a debutant whose sincere efforts to make a watch worthy commercial film are visible and Akshay again seems to be in form, so faults can surely be ignored.  

 

Immortals: Ugly Clown Stuff !!

Rating: 0/5

‘Immortals’ is one of the ugliest and most unexciting films I’ve come across this year.

To bury humanity deep down, merciless king Hyperion (played by Mickey Rourke) must need a particular weapon and so he is on a run riot to get it. Boulder in his way is but naturally our hero Theseus (played by Henry Cavill). Phaedra (played by Freida Pinto) is a virgin oracle priestess who is supposed to help Hyperion in his wicked ambitions but does exactly opposite. Theseus is not only aided by Phaedra but by God Zeus also, who every time saves him. Special effects and safety of protagonist go hand-in-hand in the film. Whenever our hero is in danger and desires help, Zeus is there with his troop and they fight the enemies in a Mortal Kombat style and triumph. It’s cool to have Zeus by your side every time you are in danger but it brutally kills ‘thrill’ which is not clever. They didn’t understand such simple thing.

Idiocy doesn’t end here. Right in the middle of the film, when they ran out of material they showed neat and clean glimpse of Frieda Pinto’s breasts and also injected one insipid sex scene. We know that spice is necessary in recipe but there is a method to utilize it. 

300 showed us brave Spartans in a somewhat believable way and visuals were stunning in it. ‘Immortals’ transparently copies its action sequences from 300 and bores audience. Each and everything is dim and dull here. Castle build with playing cards by any toddler would look more impressive than Immortals’ set-pieces. I bet. I don’t know what was there in greek mythology but it can’t be as dreadful as portrayed by Tarsem Singh. Masks & costumes wore by characters were so irritating and ludicrous that at one point of time I felt like throwing rotten tomatoes on screen.  

‘Immortals’ was a very painful experience and charm of Henry Cavill is wasted here. I hereby proudly announce that Hatim (TV Series – directed by Amrit Sagar & Shakti Sagar) which used to come on star plus on weekends was much more engaging and amusing than Immortals. Watch that instead.      

I'm happily going with absolute zero out of five for Tarsem Singh's Immortals. 

In Time: is imaginative !!

Rating: 3.5/5

Andrew Niccol’s brand new film “In Time” has a thunderous & attention grabbing plot. After witnessing first 20 minutes of it, I wanted it to reach close to Inception, Source Code & Shutter Island but director never thought about my senses while making it. It is brilliant at its core, very very imaginative and stylish but sadly, just not smart enough to satisfy your hunger for surprises and severe shocks.

One doesn’t age after 25, all humans die at 26, only some lucky ones get chance to live after reaching a mark of 26 years old and most importantly, world is devoid of currencies. Yes, this is the world designed by Andrew Niccol and unsurprisingly, he has tagged it as “distant future”. Don’t know about you but my elder ones always used to utter one famous proverb when I used to waste my time in unproductive work. They used to say: Time is money. Andrew’s elders would have said same to him and he understood it better than me and so he made a film based on that proverb. In the world portrayed by Andrew Niccol, time is money, no seriously. People are born with in-built digital clocks on their hands & the ones who wish to live after 26 years need to lend time from banks and illegal time-lenders. Banks lend time here, of course with high rate of interests. You know how banks are !! In Casinos, one doesn’t have to throw casino token in style to grab attention of anyone; time span notified by their digital clock is more than enough for that. Whatever amount of time one spends, exactly that much amount of time gets subtracted from his/her total life span.

Storyline goes like this: Will Salas (played by Justin Timberlake) is an ordinary worker living an unhappy life who on one fine day is blessed with 100 years to live by a dying man. Time-keeper (played by Cillian Murphy) is investigating about it and in a mean time, Will kidnaps Sylvia Wiss (played by Amanda Seyfried). Will blackmails her father for lending him time and he successfully manages to defend time-keeper & other odds & accomplishes everything he decided to, with ease.  

My favorite scene in the movie is Will catching her mother (played by Olivia Wilde) just when her time’s over. It really is emotional but if you think Olivia Wilde is younger than Justin Timberlake in real life and she can’t play his mother, then it is not.

Film has trademark Hollywood car chase sequences, foot chase sequences, haunting background score, absorbing philosophical conversations (man, they included Charles Darwin also!) and a great concept too. Film lets us down when director instead of exploring the probabilities of concept goes other way round. Justin and Amanda both have acted very well. Justin could have been better but Andrew seemed to be a big fan of his previous works, Bad Teacher & Friends with Benefits. So he unnecessarily induced smooches and by the way who doesn’t like watching Justin Timberlake licking his lips to a charming female lead? But that’s not wise for a film belonging to a sci-fi genre.

At the end I’d say film is very interesting; make sure you don’t miss it. Spend your time, money, energy and full-attention for “In Time”, it is worth.

Lines I loved from the film are as follows:

For a few to be immortal, many must die.

Everyone can’t live forever, where would we put them ?

Too much time in wrong hands can crash market.

I need to borrow a month with interest. Today’s rate: 30%

 

MFK: pokes well !!

Rating: 2.5/5

Y Films’ Mujhse Fraaanship Karoge starring 4 new comers is a youthful joyride whose premise revolves around 21^st century’s one of the greatest inventions i.e. Zuckerberg’s spectacular social networking site, “Facebook”.   

Vishal (played by Saqib Saleem) is having crush on gorgeous Malavika Kelkar (played by Tara D’souza) and another lead Preity (played by Saba Azaad) loses her heart to Rahul, the Rockstar (played by Nishant Dahiya). Each one of them in disguise talks with another on Facebook and with the rally rounds of chat, falls in love with the person, which they never thought of but it’s all good, we know it. There’s nothing more than that. 

Story line is simple and straightforward and good thing is, it’s devoid of customary bollywood melodrama. Raghu Dixit’s music is ebullient and gives the joyous feeling which a typical bollywood rom-com should. All the actors have performed with terrific enthusiasm and they are the ones who really pull this film up with their charisma, lingo & just right attitude. No one seemed like a new-comer. Hacky (played by prabal panjabi) delivers hilarious gags and never misses the beat. Platoon of professors shown in every college drama is out of sight this time and I am glad for it.

In terms of drawbacks, we have aged couples here who fail to induce heartwarming emotions. Lecture given by protagonist in the climax which attempts to illuminate the shortcomings of the excess usage of Facebook was scalded; it could have been much more engrossing.

This is the genre which Imran Khan has donated his half of his life to, but failed to gratify audience. This is the genre which each of us have tagged as “chewed” one but each one of us secretly loves it and the one who denies that fact loves it the most. We just can’t ignore it. After Band Baaja Baaraat, this is the film which I really enjoyed in the rom-com genre. Earnest effort of whole team is worth appreciating. There is surely something missing but debutante Nupur Asthana’s Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge turns out to be an entirely watchable film.

Super 8: is mind-blowing !!

Rating: 3.5/5

After weeks of CGI burdened-soul dead and buried-deep-down action flicks & countless rom-coms, here comes the film with an irresistible charm. 

J.J. Abrams, who made terrific “LOST” series, has directed “Super 8” under the banner of Steven Spielberg and set of two have done a terrific job. Storyline of course borrows many things from Spielberg’s very own classic E.T. but Super 8, set in 70’s is constructed very artistically and sentiments are supplied magnanimously which spell binds its viewers effortlessly.

A bunch of naïve kids are very enthusiastic for making a full length feature film whose central plot mainly revolves around zombie. In their earnest effort to reach the goal, they come across one train accident, one which changes their lives and others’ too. Soon, wildly peculiar accidents begin in the town like missing of numerous dogs, engines vanishing from automobiles and most common, fluctuations in the electricity. After keeping on toes for a considerable time, J.J Abrams finally unlocks the bolts by showing us gigantic and dangerous alien who’s behind all mishap.

From phase of “absolutely amazing”, film speedily goes to “mind numbingly stupid” phase without giving us any sort of warning. For most of the part, film wonderfully worked as thriller but by the time it reached its climax it just became silly. Climax successfully managed to suck the thrill out of this almost jaw-dropping film.

Film is stunningly shot, each and every frame is luminous and period of 70’s can be really felt. Train getting derailed and the way each and every bogie jumps and explodes, it’s just incredible. Also, battle scenes post interval are classy. 

After Dakota Gayo performing extraordinarily in Real Steel last week, we have Joel Courtney this week who anchors the film (as Joe) with everything he has got and delivers a splendid performance. As a female lead, Elle Fanning (as Alice) gives decent performance. Kyle Chandler (as Jackson) is portrayed as strict father and courageous military man. My personal favorite in whole cast is Riley Griffiths whose humorous act as film’s director is just so adorable that you wish for more and more scenes portraying him. 

Apart from the ending, there was nothing worth complaining here. Kids in the film very comically explained the term “production-value” and the gags involving that term were indeed memorable ones. And to be honest, those kids looked more passionate about their film project than most of the bollywood directors. Their 2 mins movie seemed much much funnier than full length comedy films of bollywood. Cheers to the film within film. You, watch both and cherish. 

Real Steel: is real good fun !!

Rating: 3/5

“Real Steel” is an adaptation of the short story “Steel” by Richard Matheson. I anticipated this film as full-on-mindless action flick but astonishingly it is a well balanced film which is having both, thrilling action scenes and warmth at its core. Both essentials are in equal proportion and that’s the reason why I liked this film very much.

Set in 2020, film’s plot is pretty simple. Charlie Kengton (played by Hugh Jackman) endlessly loses Robot fights and is running short of money and hope too. Yes, robot fights, we are in 2020. That sport is portrayed as a popular one where in the ring, instead of Undertaker, Triple H, The Rock etc. we see giant Robots fighting one-on-one with each other. Robots are controlled by humans via. Joysticks.     

Max Kengton (played by Dakota Goyo) is his 11 year old son, who in the middle of Charlie’s crisis returns to him and after some strangely funny conversations & events, turns out as a boon. On one night, Max finds Atom, old styled not-so-impressive looking robot and trains him to fight. Slowly and steadily, he triumphs in conquering Charlie’s cynicism about Atom’s feebleness. And then what, director Shawn Levy re-glitters the charm of Rocky films by showing us terrific jaw-dropping robot fights. Soon after defeating some weird looking robots in unofficial fights, duo gets a shot at WRB (World Robot Boxing) where they show their mettle.

Concept of shadow function was really cool and Max employed it in a cooler way. Atom mimicking the killer dance moves of Max via. shadow function was film’s fanciest & most innovative aspect. Also, I loved opening scene in which Robot fights with a bull. That was really really awkward, but nevertheless entertaining.

Scenes between Jackman & Evangeline are easy on eyes and both look lovely. What Jaiden Smith did for “The Karate Kid”, Dakota Goyo does for “Real Steel”. Hugh Jackman in each & every frame, from beginning to end, is consistent & delivers an incredible performance.

Don’t miss “Real Steel”, it’s really worth your time & money.
       

Rascals: should be banned immediately!!

Rating: 0.5/5

Punjabis are blessed with humor, we know it. David Dhawan proved that with Deewana Mastana, Biwi No.1, Haseena Maan Jaayegi, Mujse Shaadi Karogi & many more but now he has completely lost it. He is now literally raping the art called “film-making” and in doing so, employing accomplished actors. He seems to be hell bent on ruining his image. Without even a tiniest doubt, one can say that his previous film “Do knot disturb” was the worst film of 2009 and yes in 2011, he took that cheapness and ridiculousness to a new height, by delivering “Rascals”.

Devoid of common sense, Rascals has storyline which our bollywood has presented countless times. 2 rival con-men named Chetan (played by Sanjay Dutt) & Bhagat (played by Ajay Devgn) separately rob another con-man i.e. Anthony (played by Arjun Rampal) and then, they runaway from India to Bangkok, may be because of fear but I think that isn’t the idea behind it. Idea is to show us the tourist version of Bangkok but Dhawan fails in that too. In Bangkok, they both fall in love with the same girl, Khushi (played by Kangna Ranaut & her brand new implants).

Both con-men cross each other’s way more or less in a way similar to Andaz Apna Apna & Deewana Mastana. But here, Dhawan explores humor less and voluptuous bodies of females more. Another lady in the film is Lisa Hayden, who plays prostitute. None of them are provided with funny lines or funny moments.  All they did in film was, wore skimpy outfits & remove them. I’d like to share one sample dialogue from this film, uttered by sidekick Nano (played by Hiten paintal) to Sanjay Dutt – “Bhai, aap point point karte reh jaaoge aur woh usko leke nariman point pahunch jaayega”. Either Chunky Pandey plays nepali watchman or some hotel’s manager. I guess those are the only roles left for him nowadays. In 2010’s dreadful film “Housefull”, he delivered some fresh jokes but this time he himself proved that he deserves nothing better than such leftovers. Here, he dons the role of gujarati hotel manager – Bhagat Bholabhai Chaganmal (he prefers BBC). Funny, eh?? This character was nothing less than a torture.

I know David Dhawan is not interested in improving quality of Indian Cinema but he should definitely stop fooling audience now. Bad performances by leads are due to nasty screenplay, rubbish dialogues & chewed storyline. But, why do they accept such roles? Well, I don’t know but I do wish that in the future we will not be cursed this way.

You must not dare to think about film’s music. Only Kangna seemed happy with her role and we know why! Else everyone fooled themselves and viewers. Hope this film vanishes from cinemas as soon as possible.

Force: Nothing remarkable !

Rating: 2/5

Here comes another no-brainer which pretends itself as a commercial entertainer. Yes, of course I was very much keen to see superbly toned body of John Abraham but putting that aside, there’s very little which I could appreciate in this film.

It starts off as a thriller but before you know it; it becomes a tiring and boring revenge saga. Honest officer of anti-narcotics unit, ACP Yashwardhan (played by John Abraham) along with his 3 colleagues kills one Drug Mafia who was supposed to be caught alive. That Drug Mafia’s brother (played by Vidyut Jamwal) is now on a rampage to kill all of them in the name of revenge. He effectively tortures all the four and their families, and in the end our muscular hero kills the villain.   

Simple story could’ve been executed differently but director Nishikant Kamat takes the road more traveled by. You don’t get any shocks here; Nishikant has knit his film in an absolutely silly-bollywoodish manner. Like all the other star-studded brain-less entertainers released this season (which were stupid & rubbish), this film also has some of the elements which they had -- Typical melodrama, unnecessary songs, chewed dialogues & at last, length of the film, which was irrationally longer.    

Humor at some places is pleasant. Confrontations between ACP Yash & his love, bubbly-charming Maya (played by Genelia D) are quite refreshing. Foot chase sequence & few hand-to-fight scenes in second half somehow manage to convince the viewers that they are really watching an action movie. Vidyut Jamwal did fantastic work; I would be watching his next film, for sure.

What disappoints maximum here is the protagonist. John fails to meet viewer’s expectations. He worked hard for his look, gained super 8 pack abs, managed to reach 96 kilograms but his feeble acting overshadowed all such brave achievements. It’s been said that FORCE is a remake of tamil hit KAAKHA KAAKHA, but I haven’t watched that so don’t know much about it but FORCE is just an ordinary film !!

Johnny English Reborn: LOL guaranteed !!

Rating: 2.5/5

Rowan Atkisnson, whose life’s motto seems nothing but to make people laugh-loud is back with a brand new film, Johnny English Reborn – a sequel to Johnny English (which was released in 2003). I am neither a die-hard fan of his Mr. Bean Series nor Johnny English but I must admit I really enjoyed this sequel.

Director Oliver Parker takes no chances; he has made this film simple & stupid. Well, there’s Rowan (as Johnny English) & film is supposed to be a spoof of Bond, so expecting smartness here would be an inhuman act.

Opening scenes show our buffoon protagonist Johnny mastering unique fighting techniques & learning to take charge of his mind at some monastery in Tibet. After 5 long years, he returns to MI 7 with all his electrifying & unpredictable idiocy. He tries to resolve the mess which he made at Mozambique. Being as stealthier as Bond, Johnny’s task is to grab hold of 3 assassins who are hell bent on murdering another leader with the utilization of remarkable mind-controlling drug.

Coming to the film’s humor, it’s nothing less than terrific. Chase & fight sequence with Chinese chap is a signature of this great great humorous actor. With his simpler than simplest facial expressions & matchless body language, he wins giggles of king size. Gillian Anderson is a chief of MI7 agency and our senselessly-naïve Johnny hitting her mother with tray is the best & funniest scene of the film. There’s much more than that which I request you to find out by watching this amiable entertainer.

Dominic west (as agent Simon) accompanies him in his mission & love interest of Johnny is Rosamund Pike (as Kate). Charismatic looking Rosamund is a behavior specialist who lends helping hand to Johnny in his mission. From monastery in Tibet to French Alps in the climax, film is lavishly shot & each & almost every frame is eye-catching. What hampers this film to an extent is its inconsistent flow of humor & length. Film could have been better if it would have been shorter.

Forgive the flaws because laughs are guaranteed, go for it !! 

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan: is deadly boring !!

Rating: 1/5

To motivate & engage new-young film makers to think something out of box and give delight to audience is just not the idea of film-makers these days. They are busy making truck-loads of money by shamelessly & incessantly making stupid films.

Title of YRF’s latest outing is quite funny but film is not. Protagonist Imran Khan (as Kush), assistant director of bollywood films, is supposed to search a bride for his brother as his brother Luv (played by Ali Zafar) has broken-up with his girlfriend. Bride is undeniably none other than Dimple (played by Katrina). To bore us to the core, first time director Ali Zafar utilizes the same old trick i.e. moronic flash-back story. He takes us 5 years back and shows us the first meeting of Imran & Katrina. They develop liking for each other and after 5 years when they meet on this let’s-find-bride occasion, Imran gets shocked to see a Miley Cyrus kind of girl transforming into an absolutely Indian girl. He happily agrees to pick her for his brother.

After an engagement of his elder brother with Katrina, Imran portrays typical bollywood cry-baby. Now you definitely know what’s next. Both realize the mistake and they use same old traps to break the marriage. Such is the inanity of story-writer of this looks-charming-but-totally-trashy film.  

One could digest the over simplistic plot if film has some genuine laughs to offer. But jokes here are even less funny than those santa-banta jokes which we receive on daily basis (vis sms). Only scene which made me laugh-loud was Katrina crying on a highway for Imran’s abrupt demise. All the mockery they made of Khans was indisputably unfunny & badly lit.   

Story, screenplay, dialogues & direction – everything’s done by one man, Ali Zafar. He has messed up everything. Thank God, he didn’t give music. Music of the film generates some enthusiasm but it’s brutally let down by other aspects of film. Imran Khan’s character is carbon copy of his character in “I hate Luv Stories”. Cuteness of Imran Khan is what I am tired of seeing on-screen. He is just not getting tired of identicalness, makes me wonder why.

Katrina and Ali Zafar both resemble ideal examples of “over-acting”. Ali Zafar’s accent is intolerable. Katrina looks stunning & performs well in songs (as always) but her acting (as always) is nothing to speak of. After ZNMD, I was expecting her to act but I was disappointed. If truth to be told, whenever she voiced dialogues louder than normal tone, I felt the need of cotton plugs.      

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan robustly sticks to the current trend i.e. if we have music and stars, audience will watch anything. And sad part is, audience is really watching. If you have fondness for good cinema, stay far far away from this one.

That Girl in yellow boots: is very dirty !!

Rating: 2/5

Pedant film-maker Anurag Kashyap’s latest outing “That Girl in Yellow Boots” is director’s most daring film till date. Some will give massive round of applause while some will hit screen with their foot wears.

Ruth (played by Kalki) – a half Indian, half American girl (with not so bad Hindi ) is the central character of the film who is hell bent on searching her father. She earns livelihood by working at massage parlor (read ‘working’ as giving pleasure to customers). Her boyfriend Prashant (played by Prashant Prakash) is no different than a gang of male characters from Kashyap’s previous venture – Shaitan. Drug addict, hormone crazed, trouble arousing & immature, yes, that’s Prashant. Scenes showing him tied with window succinctly portray his excellent acting skills.

Circuitous path of Ruth includes her meeting with good & reprehensibly bad characters. Naseeruddin Shah is the only concerned being in her path who is a regular customer of her basic-respectful massage. Affectionate conversations between them are the only light moments in this film. In a cameo comes legitimate figures like police inspector (played by Ronit Roy) & postmaster (played by makarand deshpande). Rajat Kapoor appears for just 3-4 seconds & must say, trick works. Chitiappa (played by Gulshan Devaiah) is a south Indian Gangster who takes away Ruth’s hard earned money and in male section, his performance stands taller than others. Chitiappa and Maya, massage parlor’s receptionist (played by Puja Sarup) are the sources of murky humor here. Puja Sarup’s chatty avatar is just mind-blowing. 

Even without 3D, Anurag Kashyap easily succeeds to make his audience peep deep into his film’s dark, uncultured & egregious atmosphere. Cinematography and background score are two solid elements of this film which never fails to induce anxiety. Kalki’s acting is truly spectacular. However tough the scenes are, however abusive the dialogues are, Kalki did all with sheer sincerity. No other actress could’ve fit in yellow boots.

Editing here seems totally rough & amateurish. 90 minutes don’t add to precise character sketching because this film has plenty of characters. Abusive tone of the film becomes over abusive at times but no complains for that. We can’t expect soft-silky dialogues in an Anurag Kashyap film.

Main drawback of this film is its climax, which some say is disturbing & shocking but I think appropriate term would be “dirty”. It is the “dirtiest” climax in the history of bollywood. “That girl in yellow boots” unfortunately ends as an eternal obscurity of shameless minds. Kalki & Anurag have jointly written this film and quantity of absurdness which they’ve inserted here is beyond my tolerance capacity.

This is the particular film which I’ll never ever recommend to anybody. 

Not a love story: Camera works, film doesn't !!

Rating: 2/5

I’ve always appreciated RGV’s uniqueness, not only on twitter but in movies too (Why are you thinking of RGV ki AAG??). RGV’s newest film is a ‘take’ on Neeraj Grover murder case which occurred in May 2008.

Grover was a TV executive and his character in the movie is played by Ajay Gehi (as Ashish). Kannada actress Maria Susairaj’s character is enacted by dashing & daring Mahie Gill (as Anusha). And finally comes the character of Maria’s former fiancé i.e. Emile Jerome, portrayed by Deepak Dobriyal (as Robin) who commits the unwarrantable crime.

Film begins with Anusha convincing Robin to allow her to go to Bombay as she felt that she was capable enough to rule bollywood. Robin’s reluctant-ness fails to stand against Anusha’s sky-high stardom dreams, so she reaches Bombay. Then, for odd 30-35 minutes I felt like I was watching Madhur Bhandarkar’s ‘Fashion’. It was just that actress’s behavior & tone of the movie were according to RGV’s train of weird thoughts. Somehow, Anusha succeeds to bag the role of lead actress in a movie and celebrates the victory by sleeping with Ashish, the one who gave her that role. Unexpectedly, the very next morning Robin arrives, who sees Ashish absolutely naked. Losing temper, he just kills Ashish with knife.

Movie begins now. Not really. It should’ve been but sorry to say it didn’t. After killing Ashish, both of them decide to chop down the dead body into pieces, as proposed by Robin. Anusha buys him an elder brother of “Rampuri knife” and then Robin, with that tool does what he decided. Loading Ashish into car was easy now, as he was packed in 6-8 plastic bags. Couple goes to Jungle & burns the undersized portions of Ashish. Now, task for both of them is “not to get caught by police”. But Mumbai Police catches them easily, so easily that it makes you laugh. Even C.I.D mysteries are not that lame. Zakir Hussain as cop-in-charge of the case invests genuine earnestness to his character and performs superbly, irrespective of very short screen presence. Tiny conversation between him and Anusha is gripping.

Apart from mystery getting solved within no time, film has many loopholes. Length of the film has never been a reason to dislike a RGV film but this time, it is. Was editor hired or not? Film is also devoid of sharp dialogues and an important element called “unpredictability”.

Fascinating aspects of this film are camerawork, acting & background score. Camerawork is of top-notch quality. Yes, I did felt like it was shot from some mobile phone but the way RGV explores each and everything of Mahie Gill without actually showing us the real thing, is just amazing. It reminded me of that mermaid in last Pirates’ movie. Mahie Gill shows her thighs and acting skills in equal proportions i.e. abundance and both assets are very impressive. Deepak Dobriyal also gave watch-worthy performance. Background score by Sandeep Chowta is truly miraculous and yes, rangeela song is utilized smartly. There's one horrifying nightmare scene, it is truly RGV signature.

Real Story on wikipedia is much more haunting. Only if you have affection for RGV and his style, watch this film. Else, wait for world TV premiere.

Movie Review - Captain America - First Avenger

Captain America - First Avenger : Lacks Action

Rating: 2.5/5

“Why me?” – Yes, this is an epic question which every superhero finds answer to. Captain America too faces that question and without providing much mental stress to himself or audience, finds a quick convincing answer to it. Not a perfect superhero film, actually far from it but it’s an enjoyable film with retro vibe at its core.

Set in 1940, plot is pretty simple, to be honest, an over-simplistic one (excluding the fact that there were laser guns in 40’s). Steve Rogers (played by Chris Evans) is a failure in physical tests of U.S army as his structure is analogous to thin wooden stick. But his willingness to anyhow hop into combat field to defeat Nazis is unaffected by it. Impressed by his willingness, one scientist offers Steve what he wants but he must undergo an experiment. Steve readily agrees & experiment transforms his body into a powerfully-built-can-defeat-anybody structure. By liberating 400 U.S. soldiers from Nazi base camp, Steve achieves the tag of “Captain America”. Then on, it’s one-man-show. Johann Schmidt (played by Hugo Weaving) aka “Red Skull” is the leader of Nazi and baddie in the film who comfortably gets defeated by Captain America. I repeat, comfortably. Director Joe Johnston never leaves Captain America in the mouth of danger. Captain America accomplishes everything very easily, very very easily.       

Retro look is totally superb & worth appreciating but clear-cut script devoid of tiniest twists and turns is a kind of injustice to this grand marvel comic character. Captain America's shield comes back to him every time like a boomerang. That’s the only mystery which I wasn’t able to solve in the film. Also, kick-ass CGI and jaw dropping action scenes were missing. Film relies on the acting of protagonist, Chris Evans who succeeds to do what Tobey Maguire did for Spiderman and Christian Bale did for Batman. God will punish me if I don’t take the name of Chris Hemsworth (as Thor). Tommy Lee Jones (as colonel Chester Philips), Sebastian Stan (as Bucky – Chris’s friend) & Hayley Atwell (as agent Carter) have performed fantastically. Chemistry between two leads is sparklingly stunning and numerous one-liners in the film are timed very well by all actors.

A weak man knows the value of strength, such are the words of wisdom. Super heroism is indeed celebrated, but in a half decent way. Last thing I want to say is “Just Bring on the Avengers”.

Movie Review - Delhi Belly

Delhi Belly: is a shit-oriented film

Rating: 2.5/5

Produced by Aamir Khan, Delhi Belly is a shit oriented-abusive comedy film. To create humor, writer of the film Akshat Verma utilizes only 2 ways: One, he puts offensive & abusive language in almost each & every dialogue of the film and second, he uses same situation again and again and again…(It goes on endlessly) i.e. One of the three protagonists, Nitin – circular in shape has got shit-setback (diarrhea) which he resists throughout the movie and in the process, embarrassing noise coming from his ass is served as humor.

If such humor pleases you, then you might enjoy this movie but I felt director Abhinay Deo misused the “A” rating. Actually, a class of people for which this movie is made doesn’t even exist and I guess director didn’t know that. To be precise, that old dialogue of 90’s “Heere kahaan hai?” is the plot of the film. In addition, there’s a kidnapping which is also alike movies of 90’s. Problem doesn’t end here; everything is settled so easily and without hiccups that it reduced the slightest scope for excitement and nervousness which one likely expected.

In terms of positive points, cinematography is worth appreciating. Detailed zoom-in of protagonist’s house with classy background score succeeds to create a naïve humor. Film offers few genuine laughs but that’s not at all sufficient.

Script of the film has failed to do justice with central character of the film; Tashi – the journalist (played by Imran Khan) as he is not given any memorable moments. As sidekicks, Nitin (played by Kunal roy kapoor) as photographer of Taashi and Arup (played by Vir Das) as cartoonist have left impression with their first class act. Vijay Raaz, a hardcore Desi Gunda in desperate search of diamonds acts terrifically and he is the real star of the film. Meneka (played by Poorna Jaggannathan) is portrayed as a typical delhi chic working along with Tashi and she helps the gang with their plan.

Entertaining music videos & extraordinary promoting styles don’t make an entertaining film, proved. “Phas Gaye re.. Obama” & “Yeh Saali Zindagi” falling under same genre were way too smarter and unpredictable. I expect Aamir Khan Productions to come up with something substantial next time, unlike Dhobi Ghat and Delhi Belly.

Shaitan: is a stylish & captivating film !!

Rating: 3.5/5

Anurag Kashyap’s new venture ‘Shaitan’ pretends to stand tall on 3 pillars; blistering cinematography, awkwardly marvelous soundtrack & roaring Rajeev Khandelwal.

They make cheap comments on each other’s mothers’ appearances, one night stand is not a new thing for them and alcohol & drugs are like oxygen to them. These are the central characters of debutant film maker Bejoy Nambiar’s ‘Shaitan’ who don’t have anything to fight for in their life until the day when one of them after racing with Audi on streets of Mumbai hits his shining yellow Hummer to a scooter which kills 2 innocent persons riding it. All the five were seated in a car while this accident occurred so they decide to tackle it together. And in the process, their friendship’s strongest strength of having trust on each other slowly and steadily gets weaker and weaker as their plan of getting money to shut the case goes shockingly wrong.  

Story makes sense not just because of the fact that it reminds us what Salman Khan did many years ago, but because we often read in newspapers about kids driving their cars/bikes irresponsibly and wildly imaginatively (in some cases). For those of you who loved Dev D’s stunning cinematography, there’s particularly no reason to dislike this film as this film has a lot to offer in terms of cinematography. Some of the sequences are so impressively shot that it reminded me of Zack Snyder, who uses such tool in his film on regular basis. Gun fight featured with khoya khoya chand remix in background and fareeda - the song,  are the crux of this film which are so sensationally filmed that it might encourage you to watch this film second time.    

Tag of *angry young man* should now be passed on to Rajeev Khandelwal, he deserves it. Foot chase sequence is like trademark for Rajeev Khandelwal. His tough looks as honest and frustrated cop, merciless kick-punches and acting are superb. I wanted to see more of him, but I guess Bejoy and me don’t possess same mentality.    

Kalki Koechlin (as Amy), Gulshan Devaiya (KC), Shiv Pandit (Dash), Neil Bhoopalam (Zubin), Kirti Kulhari (as Tanya) & Rajat Barmecha as Shomu (in a cameo) have done a fair job. All the five share equal screen presence. Alike Anurag Kashyap’s previous films, Shaitan’s music is also remarkable. It is undeniably this year’s best soundtrack so far.

Only hindrance in the film which made me yawn was Kalki going again and again into flashback without any valid reason, else everything was fine, fancy & fabulous.    


This post is an entry to the Reel-Life Bloggers contest organized by wogma.com and reviewgang.com

  

Pirates of the Caribbean: On stranger tides: Appears pirated!!

Rating: 1.5/5

Circumnavigation of an entirely different world, from one exotic place to another, along its shores, in the center of vast oceans, deep into the waters, over the mountain peaks & in the stunning dark caves. Sounds breathtaking? No, it’s not. We are not exploring an official website of “Incredible India”, we are talking about movie and so, it’s not breathtaking. A movie also needs many other elements apart from cinematography. I (without even a slightest doubt in my brain) would say Rob Marshalls’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger tides” is the worst film of the series which insults previous movies because they dexterously explored the horizons of adventure & fun with imaginative action sequences while this latest film just shamelessly explores the horizons of dumbness.

The race is very much like living for the characters in Pirates movies. Sometimes it’s for medallion, map, chest, key and this time, to get water from the fountain-of-youth. For effective functioning of that water, it must be mixed with mermaid’s tear. Let me now give details of the creatures who are behind it. There’s Spanish army, British troop which surprisingly includes Captain Barbossa (with one wooden leg), Captain Blackbeard with his crew & hell rocker, Jack Sparrow. Oops, Captain Jack Sparrow! Crew of Blackbeard includes her daughter Angelica (played by Penelope Cruz) whose love interest is none other than Jack.

In this 2 hours & 16 minutes long film, there are various elements which bore you to an apex level. Love story shaped between sexy mermaid (played by Astrid Berges-Frisbey) & Christian disciple, Philip (played by Sam Claflin) is enormously melodramatic & tedious. And worst thing is, that mermaid reminded me of Shyamalan’s flop film “Lady in the water”. Over stretched tête-à-tête makes you yawn endlessly and dark tone of the film (because it was shot at night) almost certainly makes you sleep without uttering sweet dreams. Enthusiasm, thrill, con thing, amazing foot chases & remarkable sword fights are missing in this film.

Matchless personality, Johnny Depp as all time unpredictable Captain Jack Sparrow is the only watch worthy thing in this movie apart from cinematography. He tries his level best to pull this movie up and he partially succeeds. Loyal fans of this series might tolerate this intolerable film and the only reason would be Depp.

Pirates is tasteless without Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, that crew member who used to search his eye ball along with his partner, awkwardly entertaining monkey & Black Pearl. Yes, it’s a fact. Without them, Pirates movie appeared pirated. Go to nearest lake, sea, river or any thing but just don’t dare to sail “On stranger tides”, it’s not worth !!

Fast 5: Big gang, small bang !!

Rating: 2/5


Film opens with a terrific & promising action sequence in which Dominic (Vin Diesel), Brian (Paul Walker), Mia (Jordana Brewster) & Vince (Matt schulze) steal stylish fast cars from a running train by cutting one side of it which was absolutely jaw dropping & exciting but soon alike F & F 4, this one loses pace.

                   

Unintentionally they get one chip which messes their life as it contained money details of druglord & puts them again on the opposite side of law. They are hell bent on bankrupting drug lord by robbing his bank's vault. Movie in the halfway comfortably tries to shake hand with Ocean movies. It tries to become intellectual, but actually it doesn't. All the players (Tyrese Gybson, Gal Gabot, Sung Kang, Don Omar, Tego Calderon) of previous Fast & Furious films are gathered this time along with a new player Dwayne Johnson (as Hobbs - honest cop) who is given the tedious work of catching this gang. Elena (played by Elsa Pataky) accompanies him in the chase.

In terms of action sequences & hot pursuits, film stays low. There are no high octane races in this one. You don't see those boosters, you don't get to cheer.  Apart from opening action sequences, there are only 2 other action sequences. Hand to hand fight between Dwayne & Vin Diesel was just an okay, it was less exciting than WWE match. Dwayne Johnson's character was horribly written, it was just like makers made fun of him by providing him such meaningless character. It reminded me of Abhishek Bachchan's character in Dhoom. Climax comprises of impossible action sequence which shows 2 sports cars dragging bank's vault in the middle of Rio de Janeiro & beating all the other cars (of police & drug lord). That scene blows some 25-30 cars & that was the "wow" moment of the film.

It's an overstretched film, credit goes to poor editing. I disliked this film because in terms of hot babes, fast cars, action scenes & pace of the film, I was expecting a lot. Previous four Fast & Furious films were faster & far better than this one. I am also disappointed because in terms of music I didn't got chance to groove. No need to fasten your belts while watching "Fast 5" because movie runs at minimum speed which is very slow !! 

Movie Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch: Imaginative, but idiotically!!

 Rating: 2/5

Wish, characters in this movie would have performed their actions with respect to my joystick’s buttons. Leading lady in Zack Snyder’s latest flick “Sucker Punch” gets a super kick from a beast like creature but instead of getting first aid she stands up as if she wasn’t kicked but pampered. By now, i think you've understood that it's all about mindless action sequences & you know what? you're probably right.

Plot of the film is thoroughly vague & confusing but I can definitely conclude that it was taken up from Inception. If a person with an average intelligence tries to figure out the story exactly, than he will surely bang his head to any available surface. Emily Browning plays Baby Doll who is thrown by her step-father into asylum for charges of murdering her own sister. With conventional tête-à-tête, she unites with 4 other chicks to get out of that sick place. Those 4 chicks are funnily tagged as Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Rocket (Jena Malone), Amber (Jamie Chung) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens). While dancing in outrageously unusual but nevertheless sexy outfits, they grab full attention of the guests & during that dance, they log in into their imaginary world which doesn’t have any password though & over there, they mightily fight with unimaginable creatures to get 5 elements i.e. map, litter, knife, key & last one I won’t say, you better watch it, which will help them to get out. And as it’s a video game as I mentioned earlier, so you hardly see any blood. Only way out is don’t bother much.

Four different action sequences are created so magnificently, that it will please your retina like anything & everything. Huge guerilla like creatures with sharper than sharpest weapons, war scenarios giving world war feel, giant dragon mushrooming fire & intellectually designed robots leave your mouth completely open. Tsunami of CGI will surely drown your brain and senses. As a consequence, one won’t be able to concentrate on story. Yes, that’s the strategy which Zack applies here.

But those who don’t have much passion for video-games alike me, will end up saying, “Oh shit, not again!” Well, fight sequences are obviously predictable which hampers movie's charm to a considerable extent.

I appreciate the creativity & vision of Zack Snyder in ‘300’ & ‘Watchmen’ which were undeniably compelling, memorable & visually stunning but I don’t appreciate the liberty which he took this time with ‘Sucker punch’.   

Movie review Rabbit Hole

Director: John Cameron Mitchell

Starcast: Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart

Rabbit Hole: Controlled drama without melodrama!!

Rating:3.5/5

Rabbit hole excels on so many levels and due to so many reasons. It is a refreshing change-of-pace from the usual fare, constantly surprising the audience with its unusual approach. It is an engrossing observation of a dysfunctional family, the problems they face and the life they lead. It is a brilliant character study of a couple who is totally broken and rotten from inside.

Life of a happy couple is turned upside down after they lose their four year old son in a car accident. Actors here give highly realistic performances that fit perfectly with this demanding plot. Nicole Kidman as Becca steals the show with her best performance since 'Eyes Wide Shut'. Aaron Eckhart (as Howie) also gives a terrific performance as the grieving husband and father.

Comfort level between couple reduces to a considerable level due to the massacre because of which Howie gets allured towards another woman & on the other hand, Becca chases the boy who rammed car into her son & talks endlessly with him. Tug-of-war through tongue between Howie’s mother & Becca is also hard hitting which crystal clearly show us how people actually live their life after losing their dearest ones. 

The best aspect of Rabbit Hole is how you begin by knowing very little about these characters but end up knowing them as if they were your own neighbors. You progressively learn what happened to their son and other details within their past that fit perfectly together without feeling as they are giving the audience answers. The dialogue also lends itself to this method and, surprisingly, never feels directed to the audience.

This is one of those films for which I'm ready to take blame for what I don't like. Watch it and weep. And wonder at an extraordinary story told without veering into the maudlin. It's a compactly controlled drama without any melodrama.

Movie review 7 Khoon Maaf

Director: Vishal Bhardwaj

Starcast: Priyanka Chopra, Neil Nitin Mukesh, John Abraham, Naseeruddin Shah, Vivaan Shah, Usha Uthup, Irrfan Khan, Anu Kapoor, Alexandr Dyachenko

7 Khoon Maaf: Not intended for masses!!

Rating: 2.5/5

There will be two kinds of reactions from audience after watching Vishal Bhardwaj’s 7 Khoon Maaf. 1 – What was that, a movie? 2 – What the hell was that? I belong to second category.

To bind 7 different stories in a 2 hour film is not a cake walk; it needs mettle to execute such difficult drama. Vishal in a unique style of his own one by one shows us the murders of 7 weird men who come across Susanna’s life. There are 3 other characters that are attached with Susanna; they are house keepers who help her directly or indirectly in assassination of her husbands. And the last character is Arun (played by Vivaan Shah); our protagonist who is dearest to Susanna, like her son & who partially narrates the story to us.

In the first half, we see the conviction & imagination of director who in a gripping manner advances the storyline with rich visuals & thrilling sequences. After the end of 3 stories, you are now almost aware what’s going to happen next & Vishal here fails because in the second half film loses its steam, humor disappears & it felt like film was literally asking us to check our cell phones for new texts. I guess that was not enough for Vishal, so he introduced us to bland lengthy scenes comprising of monotonous situations to make us yawn & yes, he succeeded in that also.

Film is shooted in an uncompromising manner. There are scenes which are provocative like the one in which we are asked to take a glimpse of Viagra packet and the other one in which Susanna getting tortured by Wasiullah Khan (played by Irrfan Khan).

Background score was haunting, but songs were less appealing. A try to rise above the standards of bollywood films would have been appreciable but here, many things fall short of which as a whole drags down the film. Male characters & dialogues are not appropriately written. Was editor involved in this film? Honestly, I don’t think so. Priyanka Chopra as Susanna does a magnificent job & might bag an award for it. From the male league, only Anu kapoor (Keemat lal) as a witty policeman gratifies, others might not have not understood their character; detrimental credit goes to writer. 

Vishal only knows for whom he has made this film. This will be a particular film which will dissatisfy both, viewers & critics.     

Movie review The Mechanic

The Mechanic: Half-throttle!

Rating: 2.5/5

Directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider), The Mechanic is a remake of a 1972 Michael Winner thriller that starred Charles Bronson and Airwolf's Jan-Michael Vincent.

Jason Statham, a super specialist of standard Hollywood B grade action movies anchors ‘The Mechanic’ along with Ben Foster. Lethal hit-man Jason Statham teaches his trade to an apprentice (Ben Foster) who has a connection to one of his previous victims, that’s what the plot is all about.  His trade is about killing people brutally in a smart manner, a sort of contract killer.

The Mechanic is better than Transporter’s second & third outings. After few minutes, just when you are about to shout what is going on, why nothing is happening? Suddenly, bullet head shots, thrilling chase sequences, merciless killings & throttling pace of the movie engages you and yes, it engages to such an extent that you exactly don’t care about the storyline & dialogues. Best moment of the film is a head-on collision between bus & car, you got to see that, very well executed.

You don’t go to a Jason Statham movie for the brilliant plot any more than you go to see a Kevin James movie for the compelling drama. Foster & Statham  invest their earnest performances and they rise above the script and make this movie a watchable one. 

The mechanic strictly follows the mechanism of “B” action-movie. Expect Statham doing Statham in a less humorous way, nothing else!! 

Trailer of THE MECHANIC (1972): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ3t8TDtLg0 

Trailer of THE MECHANIC (2011): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39L8egLr518

Movie Review Patiala House

'Patiala House': A regrettable film!

Rating: 1.5/5 

Patiala House is anticipated as a comeback film for Akshay Kumar, but dejectedly, Khiladi Kumar’s saga of providing tasteless films continues. Instead of worshipping cricket which could have been the heart of this film, Patiala House worships melodrama, a melodrama which is inherently excruciating.

Patiala house is the villa where everyone’s living their life but no one’s living their dreams. Everybody wants to do something unique, but they are not able to do so, as the eldest & most obedient son of the family, Parghat Singh Kahlo (played by Akshay) is not accompanying them by living his very own dream of playing Cricket for England as a pace-bowler. Being an Indian, to play in England team is against the will of family’s leading person, Parghat's father (played by Rishi Kapoor). So it is Parghat's story of how he wins faith of his self-esteemed father.  

He is a good chef & a champion action hero but he doesn’t possess any bowling skills. Director shows the Akshay’s ignorance about bowling by employing hazy & unimpressive special effects which show us how in a cake-walk manner, ball directly crashes stumps. Sadly, that’s the weakest point of this movie. Akshay never lives his character; it felt like he was forced to live it. Those who live their characters are Anushka Sharma & Rishi Kapoor, but poor storyline & tattered dialogues restrict them to blossom.

Film tries to radiant father-son relationship, orthodox mentality, individual’s dream & willingness to break-free, with cricket at its background theme. But sorrowfully unlike Udaan, film never succeeds to make its audience cheer for its protagonist. Cricket-matches seemed thoroughly predictable & fake, irrespective of major cricketers like Andrew Symonds & Nasser Hussain participating in it.

Instead of stepping into Patiala House for a bucketful of monotony, witness street cricket in your locality, at least it will have some thrill & joy unlike this one.